100421- A joke

.....[Okay, here's another old favorite.]

.....A man walks into the bar of a Las Vegas casino looking exhausted and despondent. When he slumps onto a stool, the bartender approaches. The man looks at him sadly and orders a domestic beer. "Just the one." he adds. A well dressed woman takes the adjacent stool and smiles, saying "I can't believe there's anybody in this town who's actually not having fun. You look like you could use a little help. Want me to call a cop? How about an ambulance?" The man relaxed a bit. "No, it's nothing like that," he said. The woman laughed, "Well, I ought to be able to help you with anything else, sugar, I'm having a great time tonight. What's the matter? You lose a lot of money at the tables?"

.....The man rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yeah, that's part of it I guess. Actually, I wasn't really expecting to win big. If I broke even it would have all been the same to me. As long as I kept playing I didn't care if the pot went up and down. The thing is..., look, I get two weeks vacation a year and I spent last year's vacation watching TV. The whole time just blew by. I promised myself that next time would be different. The first week back I started saving every dime I could. I bagged lunch, I put off home improvements, I took public transportation whenever possible, the whole deal. I didn't even know what I wanted to spend the money on when I started. Then after four months I realized that I wanted to spend it in Vegas. I figured, everything's within walking distance: the shows, the casinos, the stores. It cuts down on travel time. I didn't even have to put together a schedule. If I change my mind in the middle of one activity I can just drift to another."

....."That sounds pretty smart. So why aren't you drifting right now?" the woman asked. "Because it's like you said before, I lost a lot of money," said the man. "I got here yesterday afternoon with $5000 and promised myself I'd spend the whole thing. After depriving myself for a year I was going to spend it on what ever I wanted for two weeks. I got a room, had dinner, saw the sights and went to sleep. This morning I decided to try the casinos, and except for getting a sandwich I've been here all day. I lost everything." "You're kidding me," said the woman, "everything?" "Might as well. I got $200 left but that's not going to last two weeks. As it is I'm putting the room on my card tonight and heading home in the morning. I guess I'll spend the rest of the time working around the house."

....."Well, that's about the saddest thing I've ever heard, I don't mind telling you," the woman said. "You deserve more than that. I'm sorry I can't do anything about the rest of the week, but if you're going to be here tonight you should do something to make the trip worthwhile. And for $200 I can make you happier than a week of sight-seeing." The man wasn't sure what she was talking about, and he didn't want to make any embarrassing assumptions. While he was trying to size up the situation, he suddenly realized that in the entire time they had been talking, the bartender never once asked the woman about ordering a drink. That would be odd, unless of course the bartender recognized her as someone who was here often and had others buy drinks for her. Which would mean-- "Oh, I-- uh, I wasn't really-- I mean, I don't think that's something I'd really be comfortable with," he stuttered. "That's the whole point, silly," she replied, "you get whatever you want. I'm a professional. You call the shots. And for someone who just had all their plans pulled out from under them that's a bargain at any price. You get whatever makes you comfortable, whatever makes you happy, all for $200."

....."Anything I want?" he asked.

....."Anything at all."

....."For $200?"

....."For $200. Whatever makes you happy."

.....The man mulled this over for a few seconds.

....."Okay," he said, "paint my house."