100109- A joke

.....There are three things more boring than reading the phone book and two of them are televised golf.

100108- A joke

.....[sung to the tune of "I Walk The Line"]

"You keep your eyes half open all the time
And when you speak, you give off a nasty whine,
But in spite of all that I think you're fine
Because you're mine,
Andy Devine."

100107- A joke

.....Tragedy + Time = Comedy, BUT--
......Injury + Time = Infection

.....so, either infections are funny, or, if they're not, then injuries are not tragic.

100106- A joke

.....It's better to regret what you have done than to regret what you haven't done. (Wait,... is that 'what', or 'who'?)

100105- A joke

.....Something that was overlooked in the coverage of the Nigerian Christmas bomber was that this was not the first time someone flew in from Amsterdam with exploding underwear. It's just the first time it was done with malicious intent.

100104- A joke

I think it's terrible nowadays how people go around just shooting each other for no reason at all. That's not necessary. They should have come to me. I could have given them plenty of reasons.

100103- A joke

.....[Man to woman] "They say that the sense of smell is the most powerful trigger for memory recall, but I just smelled your hair, and now I can't remember my name."