100426- A joke

.....Just a bit of friendly advice: if you're trying to impress someone by ordering in a foreign language at a restaurant you should remember (a) salmonella is not a small fish and (b) the staff can be a teensy bit sensitive about pronunciation, apparently.

100417- A joke

.....For the modern guy looking to connect with women, remember that the key is to ask yourself, "What does she want?" Empathy is the thing to keep in mind. Always take her feelings into consideration. For instance, "Is there any particular way you'd prefer to be stalked?" could be a great conversation starter.

100331- A joke

....."Did I tell you I used to be a model? Perhaps you know me by my professional name. Does 'Before' ring a bell?"

100226- A joke

.....The next time you find yourself in an office building, just before you leave pick up a phone and say, " Hello, Security? I'm feeling insecure. Could I have a hug?"

100211- A joke

.....[A teenage boy to his girlfriend]: "You have to believe me; I'm not one of those guys who can say they love you when they don't even like you and tell you what they think you want to hear just so they can get you into bed. But I'm willing to learn."

100208- A joke

.....Baby, you've got that little extra something. I think it's a chromosome.

100103- A joke

.....[Man to woman] "They say that the sense of smell is the most powerful trigger for memory recall, but I just smelled your hair, and now I can't remember my name."