2026-07-03

 Happy 250th America. You don't look a year after 1941.

2026-07-02

 Yesterday a uniformed US serviceman stood on the steps of the Capitol and called for the impeachment of the Count of Mostly Crisco, who responded by having him arrested for violating a law against "crowding".

2026-07-01

 In the news today a couple climbed the tower on top of the Empire State Building to stage a wedding proposal. For the record, that's both dangerous and illegal. many people said they were crazy but I think they each really wanted to spend the rest of their lives with the one they love above all else: attention.

2020-04-01 Is This Thing On?

.....I haven't posted in a while, but in my defense I've only just come out of a coma. It was a bad reaction to an experimental drug I was taking to treat obsessive compulsive disorder. They tell me it was touch and go for a while but I'm fine now and the good news is I can finally stop washing my hands constantly.

SO, what's been in the news lately?

2019-01-15 Sometimes the best presents are homemade.

I haven't used this blog in a while because, frankly, there hasn't been much to feel funny about in the last three years. That's not to say that there hasn't been much to laugh at, just that much more to enrage. And it looks increasingly that that's not an accident. The United States, and the world that has invested much in it and its ideals, has been under attack and not by starving Guatemalans.

First of all, the criminal mob running Russia spent a lot of money to...

...in our election .Their puppet still wants to spend all of our money on...

...that he promised others would pay for. And China, who wanted to get..

...have beaten us to...

Much of what made these things possible has been...

...on the part of voters almost three years ago and the...

...they put into office. They wouldn't listen to scientists, intelligence experts, actuaries or anyone with first hand experience or a lifetime devoted to studying the effects of their policies. All they heard was...

...and the...

of well-paid right-wing provocateurs on TV, cable, radio, newspapers and online services (who, without any sense of irony, perpetually complain about the left-wing controlling the media) and their...

...of propaganda disguised (not well) as news.  Facts and even the sense that there is any objective truth became...

...and led anybody who still hadn't lost their mind to ask,...

All of this gave the country little choice but to turn over the House of Representatives to a different political party by voting in young, motivated and vocal legislators last year. Unfortunately, their party is still run by...

...of...

...without a...

It still provides a...

...in the...

...for the next election. There's plenty to indicate that...

...will..

...in...

And...

...if our previous President is reading this by any chance...

160430 A note on the "Lost Shakespeare Plays"

Sorry about getting behind and squeezing everything into the last day. Still, 27 Shakespeare jokes for free is more than I managed all last year. If you want to read them in order from the beginning, they start here:

Lost Shakespeare Begins

With the election looming, I may do a spate of political humor, but for now, I'm going to assess my other dormant blogs. If you know an English major, forward this or the above link to them. It might make a boring graduation ceremony pass a little easier.

160429 A Joke : Lost Shakespeare #27

#27) "That Really Blows: The Guy Fawkes Story" (failed attempt at a "contemporary historical" play and, sadly, the last time journalism was attempted in England)

160428 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #26

#26) "Return Of The Son Of The Bride Of Henry"

160427 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #25

#25) "Inch By Inch" (abandoned sequel to "Measure By Measure"; disputed origin of the Three Stooges' "Niagara Falls" routine)

160426 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #24

#24) "Macbeth, I Hear You Calling" (first draft)

160425 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #23

#23) "Ass-- You Like It?" (It's not the one you're thinking of; this was rewritten putting more emphasis on what had been the supporting cast and the result was "Midsummer Night's Dream". The title, however, was too good to throw out, so it was recycled as well.)

160424 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #22

#22) "Tudor?-- I Hardly Know Her !" (rough draft of Henry VIII)

160423 No joke

According to today's customized Google logo, this day is the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare's death. His date of birth wasn't recorded, although his baptism was roughly at this time of year as well. Tomorrow, the Lost Shakespeare titles continue.

160422 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #21

#21) "Cleopatra Barges In" (later reworked)

160421 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #20

#20) "The Lighter Side Of The Plague"

160420 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #19

#19) "A Monk. A Juggler and A Palace Guard Walk Into A Public House"
[Never completed, this is largely considered (by the few who have heard of it) as the origin of stand up comedy. It opens with a performing troupe between plays telling each other what WS must have realized in retrospect were increasingly filthy jokes. Ordinarily he would have simply edited the material. However, since the purpose of the scene must have been to introduce the characters and also make theater people more relateable to the general audience, the fact that the first scene, as written, would have lasted more than 90 minutes without getting beyond the first act or even changing scenes must have brought home the suspicion that he didn't have anything better for the characters to do once they had been introduced. No further scenes are known to have been written. The title has been attached to the manuscript retroactively by persons unknown.]

160419 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #18

#18) "Henry VII" (suppressed)

160418 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #17

#17) "No Mistaken Identities, Please, We're British"

160417 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #16

#16) "Pumbaa of Sparta"

160416 A joke : Lost Shakespeare #15

#15) "That's What The Merry Wife Said"